Love Heals All Things?

 

Love heals all things. Really? My first thought was no it does not! It sounds good but it does not heal all things!

I left church shaking my head. Love does not heal all things. I loved my Dad and he was not healed. Love does not heal all things!

I have been meaning to sit down and write one final post but my heart has just not been in it but then I went to church. I told myself that I would sit down tonight and tell you how love does not heal all things!

I pulled out my computer, searched for my site and then it hit me! Love does heal all things but not always the way we want them to be healed.

You see, after many weeks in the psych ward in early 2019, my Dad’s medicine was finally regulated but his physical condition had changed drastically. Dad could not come home.

As I said in previous post, we had to find a skilled nursing home with a memory care unit to care for my father. I could not bring myself to do this research. I could not physically go out and find a place to leave my father. Fortunately my sister was able to do this and we thought that the perfect place had been located.

We packed dad’s belongings and transferred my Dad to The Oaks in Bessemer, Alabama. The long driveway up to The Oaks was peaceful. We thought this would be a safe and loving place for my Dad to stay.

We were wrong! In the brief time that he was there Dad continued to decline (which we expected because of the disease) but so did the care that he received. We not so quickly realized that The Oaks was keeping my Dad over medicated and leaving him in his room to fend for himself.

This did not work. After multiple falls in a week and three staples in his head we scrambled to bring Dad home. We had to get him out of there… and we did.

We made all the arrangements to add additional care to bring Dad back to their apartment in the independent living section of the retirement community.

Dad came home on Monday, March 4th. He was heavily sedated, thanks to The Oaks, and because his system was shutting down it took much longer for his body to process the medicine and get them out of his system. Tuesday was quiet and Mom was very happy to have him home.

I received a call from my mother just before 8am on Wednesday, March 6th. This call told me that my father was in respiratory distress and that I should come quickly.

Lots of thoughts run through your head when you get a call like this. March 6 was Ash Wednesday and I had plans to go to church and get ashes. I had plans to start reading a 40 day devotional that I had been looking at for 2 weeks. I had plans and these plans did not include watching my father die.

My plans changed.

There was a flurry of activity when I arrived at the apartment. Sitters were tending to both my Mom and my Dad. I cannot remember if my sister was there before me or not. The Hospice nurse was there and the Hospice chaplain was on his way. A dear friend had contacted one of our priest and she walked in mere moments behind me. The place was bustling and everyone was helping us prepare.

We were preparing to love my Dad into heaven. We were given ashes by my priest. We said prayers, held hands and told my father that he was a good man, a good father and a good husband. He could go to heaven now and we would be fine. We would care for Mom and we would care for each other.

Dad died just after 12:30pm surrounded by his family.

Love had healed all things. . . Not the way we had planned it or even prayed for it but Dad was finally healed.

I am so grateful. I am grateful for the people that I met on this journey and for the people that propped me up. Some of them are still propping me up.

Today was tough. It was my first Father’s Day without my Dad here on earth. I made it through the day  – or at least I have almost made it through the day.

I was worried that I might not be able to sit through church today. Not because of the sermon that I clearly did not understand until tonight but because we were to sing Good Good Father during the offering. I kept telling myself to think of my daughter’s wedding where this song was also sung. I kept biting my lip trying to keep my eyes from watering and then it happened just as we stood up to sing. I spilled a cup of water! PERFECT! I found myself scurrying to clean up my mess so I never really heard the song. I never had to sing this beautiful song on Father’s Day.

I think this was a God thing! I think it was a way of protecting me and giving me something else to think about.

Love does heal all things. I now believe that.

My Dad is finally healed.

I will close by saying that if you are loving someone thru Alzheimer’s do not do it alone. Find a support group. Heck! Start a support group!

Love heals all things but sometime you need a little help.

 

***Please excuse the typos. This was a tough one to write and I cannot do the normal editing that I have done in the past. Good luck on your journey and if I can help you in any way, please feel free to reach out to me. ***