Things are changing.
The time has changed and it is now dark when I get up in the morning and it is still light when we finish dinner. The days are getting longer.
The seasons are changing. Winter is finally going away and the cherry trees and the large snowball tree by my mailbox is about to burst into bloom. I love spring! Or maybe I should say that I love spring once the pollen goes away.
Things are changing with my dad too and I have to admit that this makes me sad. I learned last week that he now needs help getting dressed. This is especially hard for me to see because my dad was a very sharp dresser! He loved clothes. He loved to order a suit and from the tailor and then spend an hour or more looking at the ties before selecting just the right one to be added to his collection. For now, the sitters select his clothes and help him put his clothes on in the right order.
I visited today and noticed that he struggled searching with some words. I am not sure if this is my dad getting lost in the story he is telling or is it the disease that is scrambling his words in his head? I chose to believe that he is just getting lost in his story and it is not the disease taking away his words.
As much as I want to help my dad tell his stories or help him come back to the present, I simply meet him where he is. It is so much easier to agree that it is hard to clean the bathroom sink when the whole platoon has to share the same small space. It is easier to just pretend that I am anxious to see the new band uniform that is apparently coming for me this week. I try to meet him where he is. I will admit that I am slightly curious about the bad uniform he thinks I am getting this week.
Of course it is so much easier for me to play along because I am not there with him all day. I am certain it is exhausting for my mother. After all she is in the present watching her husband travel back in time. A time where she did not exist.
It is easy to think that my mom is just being difficult for not “playing along.” Sometimes I get frustrated with her but I have to remember that I have not walked in her shoes. No one has. It is far easier to tell someone what they should do than to walk in their shoes and live their life. A life where you do not know if your spouse knows you or not. It must be awful. I need to remind my self this daily!
As I have said before, dementia and Alzheimer’s seems to be everywhere! I have a guilty pleasure . . . I hesitate to tell you what it is . . . I enjoy the mindless escape of watching a certain tv show that comes on in the middle of the day. I won’t name the show but I KNOW that some of you watch it too!!
On this certain show, they have brought back an old character and it is very apparent that something is not quite right with him. Well, I immediately knew what it was and I was devastated. Not because this fictional character had been given a script that says he has Alzheimer’s but because it is just another reminder that this disease is everywhere and it weaving its way into everything we do.
There is no escape. Even my guilty pleasure has touched part of my world and I am NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!
Things are changing and one day we will find a cure for this awful disease. I believe it will happen and I believe in our lifetime. I believe that there are children in my community that will go into research and they will put an end to Alzheimer’s.
I believe that things are changing.