I have not blogged in a month or so and it is not because nothing has happened in the world of dementia! Life has happened. Some good and some not so good but every day is an adventure.
I have found that I pray a lot more these days. Do I pray because life is good and we have been blessed with many good things? Yes! I am so thankful for my four beautiful children and all of the things they bring into my life. Even when it means I spend my afternoons in the car. I am thankful for my husband and that he is steady and calm when I am not.
I pray when things are not great. I pray for patience. I have noticed that I have very little patience with my mom these days. It is not because she has done anything wrong it is just that I am not as patient as I should be. I have to answer the same questions over and over. I have to remind her that no one is changing her passwords on her iPad. I am pulled in many directions at the same time and sometimes I have to make the choice of whether to pick my children and husband or my parents.
Anyone caring for their parents and their children can relate to this time in life. So I pray for patience. I pray that I can slow down long enough to receive the gift of patience and be wise enough to know when this gift has been granted.
I remember studying the different types of prayers with a group of young mothers at St. Luke’s. We talked about the prayers that start with “Please, please, please” and the prayers that start with “thank you.”
I am pretty sure I over use the “please, please, please” prayers. I am also confident that I am not alone in this thought or this prayer.
Today I am thankful for the good visit I had with my parents. I have had a few days “not dealing with parent stuff” and that feels like a mini vacation. So today, I spent time with Mom and Dad and I was actually patient. I did not mind telling my dad (over and over and over) that he was watching Ole Miss play Florida in softball not Auburn and Florida. I did not falter when he told me his thoughts (over and over and over) on the physical build of the softball players versus some football player! I did not laugh when he kept asking me if the jackets that I had him try on were women’s jackets. They were his jackets and he had too many of them.
I was thankful that Dad was no longer telling me that Mom was about to breathe her last breath. We are not sure why he thought this might be the case but it had gone on for over 24 hours. My sister and I even enjoyed a few text messages with each other exclaiming that mom was enjoying dinner at DG before she drew her last breath! We held our tongue when Dad called to say that Mom was dead and we could hear her yelling “I am not!!” in the background.
We pray for patience. We are granted patience and then life gets in the way and we forget that been blessed this gift long ago. The gift of patience was granted but I forget to slow down and accept it . . . again. I have filed it away in that file cabinet in my head and forget to pull it out and use it the way it was intended to be used.
I am patient. I have the gift of patience. I just have to slow down and remember that some days require more patience than others.
I will slow down this week and be patient.